A depression sufferer (and brand photographer) shares her insights and gets vulnerable in her honest review of Inside Out 2
*Spoilers Ahead!
On Sunday, my partner and I went to see Inside Out 2. I’ve been looking forward to the sequel of this film since I saw the first one and it made me cry like a baby.
As a mental health advocate and long-term sufferer of depression and anxiety, I am all for teaching children (and adults) about their emotions and reducing mental health stigma as a result. Inside Out since it's release has even been a useful tool for therapists and councillors to explore the emotions of their clients, and for clients to express how they are feeling to others. The film has actively helped children across the world understand themselves.
As a brand photographer who helps to build up my client's confidence in showcasing their authentic selves, I love the storytelling elements of Inside Out and how it weaves in legitimate psychological theory. I was interested to see how the sequel continued to tackle such a complex topic, and how it approach Riley's developing personality.
The first film gave me so much hope that my sadness wasn’t actually trying to destroy me, and that my joy was still in there trying to look after me. The film helped me focus on my joy more, and listen to that positive voice in my head instead of the overwhelming negative ones. The film has actively helped me.
So when I found out that the sequel would feature a teenaged Riley and Anxiety as a new emotion I knew I was probably going to be in for a cathartically rough ride. A lot of my symptoms sprouted and spiralled in my teens. I was interested in how the Pixar team would develop the analogy they’d built in the first film, and was also nervous for what it would bring out of me.
Would I see too much of myself in the character?
Would I find it hard to watch?
Would I have to confront feelings I’d forgotten about whilst sat in the middle of a cinema?
How loudly would I end up blubbering in public?
I entered the cinema as a 30 year-old woman who has spent a long time (and a lot of money in therapy) dealing with her teenage angst that never seemed to leave, to watch a film about a teenager dealing with her angst.
What could go wrong?
First thing’s first
I loved the sequel and it felt like a natural progression from the first film.
I felt that whilst this shone through in a lot of obvious ways, such as the upward expansion of Riley’s long term memory, establishing a belief system and Riley’s sense of self, and the introduction of new emotions, the subtle ways that this came through made the story more compelling.
The OG emotions of Joy, Anger, Disgust, Sadness and Fear all showed the other side to themselves in this film. Disgust had moments of admiration, Anger shown sensitivity, Fear showed bravery, Sadness didn’t let her emotions stop her, and Joy showed vulnerability. They became more complex as Riley got older. As Joy said “I’ve come to learn that all emotions are good emotions” because they help you learn more about yourself.
Disgust of some things helps us find things we do like.
Anger helps us recognise when our boundaries have been crossed.
Fear helps us learn from past mistakes and keeps us safe.
Sadness helps us be grateful for the Joy.
Joy helps us savour moments because we simply cannot be positive 24/7.
Even Anxiety says that Riley’s life is now more complex and requires more sophisticated emotions, which the original emotions become throughout the course of the narrative.
This detail is so important, especially during the finale when it’s a mixture of ALL of Riley’s emotions and experiences that come together to form who she is, not just the best, most perfect version of herself.
One thing about the film that surprised me
I noticed the dynamics and alliances that were being made between the emotions.
Fear was drawn to Anxiety as the other side of his coin; one of them focusing on the scary things Riley can see and the other focusing on the things she can’t. Envy encouraged Anxiety until Anxiety was out of control. Sadness vibed with Embarrassment and were quietly supportive of one another. Envy wanted to be like Disgust, because technically they are opposites.
I very quickly saw a “pipeline of emotions” that happens in my own head as one emotion influences another and creates a snowball effect. I expected to be confronted by my own anxiety when watching this film, but I did not expect to be face-to-face with my own comparison behaviour in such a thoughtful way.
Envy is the smallest of the emotions, reflecting the inferiority and smallness you feel when you find yourself outside of the group and alone. She scours for information about people’s likes and dislikes, what other people are thinking, and what qualities to emulate in order to “be better”. She is consumed by what she would "rather be" instead of what she is.
I could see how Envy could make you feel Anxiety regarding your abilities, looks, character. I could see Fear making things worse by recalling times you weren’t good enough and ended up ostracised. I could see how Embarrassment, Disgust and Anger could turn inward to blame yourself and then Sadness takes over. Finally, Ennui keeps you trapped in a doom-scrolling self-hate cycle that feeds into Envy and the whole thing starts again. Joy then has to battle against every other emotion in order to even get a look in.
No wonder it is so difficult to be happy when Joy is having to work so much harder to be felt.
Not exactly the revelation I was hoping for smack-bang in the middle of the cinema, thanks Inside Out 2!
That revelation aside...
The film's representation of a panic attack captured the raw energy and chaos beautifully, and showed how difficult it can be for other emotions (specifically Joy) to diffuse the situation. I was happy to see that the magnitude of what Anxiety can do wasn't minimised, but Anxiety was not made out to be a villain either.
All emotions are good emotions but it can often feel like Anxiety is a monster as it slowly takes over your mind and infiltrates your sense of self. Anxiety helps us "plan for the future" by spotting potential risks and issues before they arise but can become out of control because it is mostly fuelled by imagination and not necessarily based in fact. By spotting those risks before they become problems, Anxiety keeps us safe.
This is all we ever really want as human beings, but unchecked Anxiety becomes self-destructive.
One final thing
Another subtle detail but one that gave me the same hope that the first movie did. After the panic attack scene has finished, small flecks of floating gold travel from the console to Joy and Sadness explains that Riley wants Joy. Riley is able to choose which emotion she channels. Riley is ultimately in control of her emotions, not the other way around.
She can chose to be angry, envious, bored, fearful, or she can choose to be happy and see the best in herself and her situations.
Afterthoughts
I left the cinema rather silent, still processing what I’d seen, and the mixed emotions it lead to. I even had a dream about Anxiety on Sunday night.
It’s a film that I wish existed when I was young.
Learning that I am the one in control of my emotions came much later in life for me. Growing up I was made to feel like my emotions were too big and too destructive to be displayed (especially anger).
I was made to feel like my envy was shameful and my fear was oversensitive. My disgust in myself was wrong, yet I was made to feel embarrassed at the times I made mistakes. I was chastised for isolating myself and doom-scrolling on my laptop (the millennial version of a smart phone) but my hobbies and joy were made fun of or belittled. My anger was laughed at and my sadness was overlooked.
There is no point thinking about what difference this film would have made to my confidence levels as a teen if it had existed then, because I wouldn't be who I am now without going through the journey of unlearning all that shit. It does however give me hope that the next generation will understand themselves much better at an earlier age, and will mean that us adults are going to have to catch up!
I used to believe that confidence was bestowed upon "perfect" people precisely because there was nothing wrong with them on a molecular level. They were "other", almost ethereal beings that had perfect lives and perfect insides to match so of course they liked themselves! I idolise others the way that Riley idolises Val in the film.
But that's not what confidence is.
Confidence is not the prize you win for achieving a perfection that actually doesn't exist.
Confidence is not delusional focusing on your good parts and ignoring your bad bits.
Confidence is not given to you at birth because some part of you was made "better".
Confidence is recognising that you are complex, different from others in ways that are unique to you, and that you have both strengths AND weaknesses because you are human.
It’s knowing that whether you are at your best, at your worst, or something messy in between, that you are still loved, you are still valuable, and you are still worthy because that does not change.
Riley’s mum views her daughter's outburst with understanding and compassion.
Riley’s idol stands up for Riley against her own friends because she can see that Riley is struggling to fit in.
Riley’s friends forgive her for the way she acted because she is allowed to make mistakes.
Riley’s talent at hockey remained, even when she felt like she wasn’t good enough.
Riley’s lovableness, value, worthiness did not change.
Confidence is the prize that you get for realising that. For working on your self awareness and accepting all sides of yourself.
This is why I do what I do.
Taking someone's photograph has a transformative effect. We are so used to seeing ourselves through awful smart phone photos, at awful angles, in awful lighting, whilst you're caught off-guard, or through our own biased reflection. We do not see ourselves the way that our loved ones see us. Professional photographs that capture YOU enable you to really see yourself for the first time, in an unapologetic way.
I have spent a long time feeling like shit and working on why I feel like shit and so I want to help others feel better about themselves if I have the chance.
I'm not a therapist and will not be able to condense years of work into one workbook or shoot. I cannot do that work for you. But I can help you open that door.
I can help you to see yourself as the strong and capable business owner that you are.
I can help you draw out and acknowledge your own strengths.
I can support you on your journey so that you don't feel so alone.
If that sounds good to you and you would like to walk away with imagery that makes you feel amazing and work with a photographer who will be your own dedicated hype girl, contact me here or email me at hello@emmaanniecolton.com.
Thank you for joining me!
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